turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
