If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
