I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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