He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
