its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
