If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize