Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
