this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
