garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
