shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
