I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
