and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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