he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
