I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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