so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
