I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
