I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
