..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
