I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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