I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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