i think my mom watched the whole time
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
