New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
