Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
