Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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