I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize
