rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize