Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
