I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
