he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Found the puke drawer
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
