Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
