yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
