My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
