I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
