What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize