yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
