Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just had sex on a roof
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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