i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
