I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
