you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
