The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize