it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
