yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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