This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My feet surprised me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize