I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
