I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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