You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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