It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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