Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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