"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
