OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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