Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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