I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish you could order shots online.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
