I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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