I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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