Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show youâ€
PANTIES FOUND
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
