Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
