OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
