only if we run a train.
done.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
