Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
