I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
