i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
