Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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